How did the time go so fast?

and Am I really this old?

My oldest son Luke’s last day of first grade was Thursday. It was a moving end to what was a wonderful first grade year. We loved our teacher, Ms. Tashiro. She was smart, kind, inspiring, she loves God and she taught Lukey to fear HFCS and Blue Dye #4. (HCFS = high fructose corn syrup, and I may not have the blue dye number quite right but you get the point.) Fifteen minutes before the final bell rang on June 10th Ms. Tashiro gave 16 of the most adorable first graders a moving and emotional pep talk for life: “I’ll always be here if you need me, you can do anything you want to, you were meant for something special.” It might as well have been a graduation speech; it was phenomenal. Sure Luke might just hear this pep talk once a week or so, but my guess is that most of the kids don’t. Ms. Tashiro’s deep love for her students goes beyond academics, it shoots straight to their hearts. She has a ministry, and I’m honored that my son was a recipient of her love and guidance.

Processing life with a second grader and a kindergartner (come Fall) is challenging. Many things run through my mind. Mostly: How did the time go so fast? and Am I really this old? SIGH It seems like only yesterday my oldest was born, but the truth is seven and a half years have passed, he’s a big second grader and my second child, my baby girl, is 5 and ready for Kinder. Only my baby boy (”I’m not a baby, I’m Grant!”) remains at home. How did this happen? I’m quietly learning time does not stop. Time does not hold still. Time does not slow down. In fact…It speeds up.

This journey I’ve been on, this journey called motherhood, is shaping me like I never thought it would. Like I would have never imagined. The thing is I’m not just learning about my children, I’m not just learning about me, I’m learning about humanity. On the last day of school I ran into a mom whose son had been in Luke’s Kinder class, she was teary eyed and said to me “I can’t believe they’re growing up so fast.” I’ve judged this mom quite a bit, unfortunately (and in sin), because her son had some behavior challenges, but what I learned on that last day of school was that this mother is really no different than me. Sure we might have different parenting styles, and even different values. But when it comes down to it she’s just a mom who loves her son. The thought of her boy moving from first to second grade depresses her as it does me. And so I asked God to forgive me, and to please continue to purge me of this disgusting yuck called judgment.

What I hope one day to report to my children is that the journey of motherhood was not only about them, or about me, but that it was about learning to love people better. I hope I can tell them about my sin, my judgment and the ways in which God grew me through all of that. I look forward to telling them how difficult it was for me to watch them get big. But that there was no greater honor for me in this life than doing just that.

Social Media